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Sleep is for the Weak Awards! Newer awards at bottom. See the newest awards by clicking here! Contact the head awards webmaster by clicking here! Stop clicking...now! It's like a disease with you! Page rating:
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Most Useless Female Lead (keep) Excel, Excel Saga Excel has a very simple goal: to make it possible for her boss, Lord Ilpalazzo, to take over something. The world would be nice, but if all they can manage is a block or two, that's a start. And she never even comes close to anything remotely resembling success. Hell, she can't even keep a job for 15 minutes without causing a major disaster. Even the girl with Tuberculosis or whatever does something useful on occasion, and she can barely drag her disease-ridden body down the street. |
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Worst Person to Exist, Ever Tomo Takino, Azumanga Daioh It's not that she's a bad person, it's just that beneath her cocky, "I'm better then everyone else" exterior she is pure and unadulterated evil. I'm not talking Bad Jew-ish, cartoony villainy, I'm talking about someone whose dreams involve others failing and her succeeding. |
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Worst Friend Sae, Peach Girl Everyone has that friend who forgets birthdays, messes up the house at parties, or in general is rude and insulting to friends, coworkers, and the Clergy. But few friends think it'd be wicked funny if you got raped.
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Least Impressive Code Name Yomiko "The Paper" Readman, Read or Die This is what happens when non-English speakers use random English in their stories. I'm sure "The Paper" sounds like a cool and appropriate secret agent code name to some random Japanese guy who took a couple years of high school English, but to us native speakers it just sounds dumb. |
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Most Feminine Man Isabella, Paradise Kiss Isabella is not only feminine, crossdressing and the holder of a female name, but he also makes and designs his own elaborate outfits. Lots of anime men dress as women--fewer dress as Southern Belles or Victorian maidens. |
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Most Feminine Man Who Isn't Actively Trying Shinobu, High School Aura Buster I remember the first time I saw an advertisement for this series: there was a nice-looking woman sitting there, with long, pink hair and beautiful feminine features. Then she opened her mouth and out came a manly bass. Apparently the manga version of this character isn't nearly as feminine as his anime counterpart, but they went a little nuts with the anime character designs and this is what we got. |
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Most Inappropriate Career Choice Considering the Character's Background Tonytony Chopper, One Piece Tonytony Chopper is a shapeshifting reindeer with a medical degree. He does surprisingly well for someone with no opposable thumbs. |
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Best Rodent Housekeeper Ebichu, Ebichu Minds the House (link rated R and show rated NC-17) Though she may be small and rat-like in origin, Ebichu is simply the best hamster one could ever hope for. She cleans, she plays Go, she cooks, and she fills you with guilt as well as a Jewish grandmother when you bring your no-good-nick boyfriend over. |
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Worst Hair Natsume, Generator Gawl I don't know what the character designers were thinking. It looks like her scalp vomited cotton candy. |
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Most in Need of a Girlfriend Kamui Shirou, X Kamui definitely needs to outlet all that rage (plenty of which is probably spurred from hormones and frustration) somehow. The right girl may help him relax and spend his weekends at Six Flags instead of in Tokyo while he systematically explodes it. And maybe a girlfriend could gently prod him in the direction of, I don't know, not destroying the world? |
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Most in Need of Fewer Girlfriends Naota, FLCL He's twelve years old and getting more action than most people twice his age. Usually from people twice his age. If being used as a replacement for your older brother by bro's high-school-aged ex-girlfriend doesn't mess with a pubescent boy's psyche, I don't know what will. |
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Most Horrible Representative of His/Her Chosen Religion Genjo Sanzo, Gensomaden Saiyuki He smokes, drinks, kills people left and right and hates God, Buddha and Buddhism in general. Did I mention that he's also one of the most powerful Buddhist monks in the religion? Or that his most effective attack involves reciting a sutra at people, who then explode? Note the gun, cigarette and scroll of holy writing on his shoulders in the picture to the right. |
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Worst Pedophile Kimura-sensei, Azumanga Daioh It takes a lot to win a pedophile award, but Kimura, the Japanese teacher of Azumanga Daioh, disturbingly had what it took. His brutal honesty is what put him over all the other pedophiles who populate anime. He freely tells his class that he became a teacher for young girls in fukus and tries to trick his way into their swimming practice. Still, he has a kicking circa 1910-style bathing suit. |
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Biggest Danger Magnet Miaka, Fushigi Yuugi Fushigi Yuugi is a very shoujo series, which means the main character is surrounded by a huge cast of attractive, often half-naked men. It's also a fantasy/adventure series, which means the easiest way to have Miaka's bishounen brigade pay attention to her is to put her in mortal danger every five seconds. If you ever get stuck in a fantasy world full of fighting and magic, make sure you have a realistic understanding of just how useful you are in a fight. And if someone makes you a protective barrier, keep your damn body inside it. |
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Most Cracked-Out Superhuman Power Unkei, Scryed Unkei has the power to script people's lives. He writes out a story, and the people in it go about their lives thinking what he wants them to think and doing what he wants them to do. It doesn't matter how powerful you are, all he has to do is write a story about you losing a fight or getting hit by a bus. Plus, if one of his characters starts acting up, he can replace him or her with a fake that's just like the real thing. If he used his power to its full potential there wouldn't be a series--all the good guys would be dead. |
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Least Personality Tooya, Ayashi no Ceres/Ceres Celestial Legend Anime Tooya has only one emotion: Indifferent. Manga Tooya has two: Indifferent and Horny. His only purpose is to stand there and look cool, then kick some ass in a cool, indifferent manner, than stand around looking cool some more. He's the most boring man alive. |
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Most in Need of a Swift Kick to the Balls Tokiya Mikagami, Flame of Recca Mikagami is an angsty bishounen of epic proportions. He spends more energy on angst in one day than most people do in their whole lives. His lengthy angst sessions are only interrupted by brief periods of being an asshole. If a kick to the squish doesn't snap him out of his ridiculous angst, at least we'll get to see him writhing in agony for a while. |
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Most in Need of Growing a Set of Balls Shinji, Neon Genesis Evangelion "I don't want to be a giant robot pilot! My daddy hates me! I'm surrounded by beautiful women, but none of them are interested in me! My life is a cesspool of despair! Instead of trying to fix things, I'm going to lie here like a lump listening to the same song over and over again on my walkman, then maybe run away." You expect the kid to start spouting goth poetry any minute. |
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Insanest Opening Sequence Imagine the most drug-induced, bouncy, energetic song ever, a song that gets stuck in your head at the first note and stays there for days. Then imagine the song set to visuals of freakish dancing superdeforms, two girls flying via pigtails, and a bouncing girl in a penguin costume. The image in your head is only half as insane as the opening to Azumanga Daioh. |
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Largest Head Yubaba, Spirited Away You could probably fit three normal-sized people into her massive skull, assuming you wanted to go around shoving people into skulls. That's pretty creepy, you know. |
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Worst Fashion Sense The Cast of Pilot Candidate The boys in disturbing leather mini-shorts are what put Pilot Candidate over the edge, although that girl who cut off one of her pant legs isn't helping. Add to that some outfits with really strange holes and/or shoulder pads, and I have all the justification I need to give Pilot Candidate the Worst Fashion Sense award. |
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Best School Disciplinarian Onizuka, GTO Who would have guessed that beating up and sexually assaulting students, breaking and entering their houses, paying them to make you porn, and otherwise going against standard NEA guidelines would have such a good effect? Great Teacher Onizuka is, as his name suggests, a great teacher. |
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Least Desirable to Meet in a Dark Alley Arucard, Hellsing I know he scares the shit out of me. |
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Most Effective Combat Pianist Raiel, The Violinist of Hameln As an offensive weapon, the piano can be quite effective. Anyone who's had to listen to an eight-year-old who can only play Heart and Soul and Chopsticks very, very slowly knows this. However, most combat pianists can't summon spirits or cause other supernatural effects with their music; Raiel can't be defeated by a simple set of earplugs. Plus, I mean, look at the guy--he needs an award to keep from killing himself. |
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Dumbest-Looking Spaceships The Outlaw Star is a big, blobby, plasticy red thing that sprouts big, ugly arms. The Outlaw Star is not only the hero's ship, but the series is named after it, so you know the mechanical designers spent the most time and effort trying to make it look cool. And this is what they come up with? Geez. |
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Best Personal Theme Music Ayame, Fruits Basket Synthesized bagpipes and percussion lend just the right amount of insanity to scenes starring this certifiably-insane character. It makes me want to carry a tape recorder around just so I can turn on this song when entering any room. |
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Best at Turning Any Vehicle Into the Pink Batmobile Straight Cougar, Scryed Oh yes, I want that. |
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Most Pathetic Villain Ever Kougaiji, Gensomaden Saiyuki I almost feel bad for the guy. Kougaiji is nicer, more moral and less fond of killing lots of people for fun than the heroes of Saiyuki. He's also a lot wussier--when he fights Goku, he doesn't even get a hit in. At his best he serves as a distraction so other people can get things done while he's getting his butt kicked, at his worst he ends up getting rescued from his own dumb plans by his also-useless friends. |
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Most Pathetic Angst Ever Yuzuriha Nekoi, X/1999 "Oh, I'm so upset, no one can see my dog! Oh boo hoo, woe is me." Runner Up: Ken "They Poisoned my Soccer Water and I Lost the Big Game" Hidaka from Weiss Kreuz. |
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Best at Getting a Horse Practically Anywhere Cowboy Andy, Cowboy Bebop It takes a lot of skill to get a horse on an elevator, up and down stairs and inside buildings. Cowboy Andy, from the 22nd episode of Cowboy Bebop, may seem like a moron, but you know the wheels have to be turning somewhere. Maybe. |
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Identical Twins Most Entertaining To Switch at a Party Suboshi and Amiboshi, Fushigi Yuugi One minute you're discussing classical music, the next there's a ball on a string flying lethally at your head. I should probably change the award to "Identical Twins Most Entertaining To Switch at a Party, As Long As It's a Party Full of People You'd Like to See Horribly Decapitated." |
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Manliest Hair Bow Dryden, Escaflowne Nice hair, man. You'd think a guy as rich as Dryden would be able to afford a haircut ... oh, but wait, that would cut down on his enormous sex appeal, as can be seen in the picture to the right. |
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Most Equal-Opportunity Villain Group Gung-Ho Guns, Trigun The manga version of the Gung-ho Guns has at one time or another employed men, women, children, a paraplegic, a quadriplegic, midgets and a crossdresser. They accept people of all races and backgrounds; the only requirements for employment are a desire to murder innocent civilians, a lust for making life difficult for Vash the Stampede, and a cool nickname. |
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Strangest (Yet Surprisingly Effective) Superpower Mr. 3, One Piece Mr. 3 has the ability to shoot candle wax out of his arms. Yes, candle wax . This is no ordinary candle wax, however--it's hard enough that swords can't cut it and heavy enough to be used as a hammer. Sometimes I wonder if Eiichiro Oda will ever run out of ideas for his manga, but then I remember Mr. 3. Anyone who can create a believable candle-wax-shooting villain should have no trouble finding ideas. |
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Most Painful Occurrence of Leopard-Print Spandex Domon Ishijima, Flame of Recca There are some people who can get away with wearing anything. There are some people who look great in any material or any outfit. There are even some people who can wear horrible, unflattering spandex without onlookers being forced to stab out their own eyes with a spoon. Domon is not one of those people. As a public service, I have refrained from actually showing a picture of the horrible spandex. |
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Series Where the Audience is Most Likely to Prefer the DVD Menu to the Show Itself You may have high hopes for this series after watching its flashy, beautifully animated DVD menus, but don't. |
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Most Offensive Anime Ever Angel Sanctuary is the story of an incestuous couple and angels raping little demon boys; it has probably the most insulting portrayal of Christianity ever. The series is so awful that it will offend not only Christians, not only religious people or conservative people, but atheists, far-left liberals, hentai fans, yaoi fans, and especially people who like things like plot and good characters. |
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Most Creative Way of Destroying Tokyo Giant Blue Octagon of Doom set to Classical Music, Neon Genesis Evangelion In works of fiction, Tokyo has been destroyed more often than any other city--giant lizards, creepy children, evil bishounen, bombs and natural disasters have all had a crack at it. The strangest attempt of all, however, would have to be Tokyo's battle with geometry. |
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Worst at Life Shu, Now and Then, Here and There Poor Shu. He tries and tries to succeed, but every time something goes wrong and he ends up getting beaten, knocked out, dropped down a chute, thrown in jail, tortured, enlisted, shot or dumped in a hole full of shit. You think you've had a bad week? I can guarantee Shu's was worse. |
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Most Time in Close Proximity to Breasts Without Actually Having Any Keitaro Urashima, Love Hina Love Hina is the story of one guy's adventures accidentally falling on girl's breasts. I think there're some other points about studying and working or something, but that stuff is definitely background to the half-naked girls and various parts of their anatomy. Honestly, I'm not sure what the big deal is with this anime/manga, but then again, as the owner of two X chromosomes I'm not its target audience. |
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Smallest Ass Elk, Arc the Lad I think the picture says it all. |
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Largest Chin Zenigata, Lupin III Same here. That's a chin with character. |
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Least Annoying Animal Sidekick Yakkul, Princess Mononoke The average Cute Animal Sidekick has several main characteristics: the high-pitched voice. The adorable features, often covered in pink fuzz or something equally vapid. The complete inability to do anything useful ever. Yakkul, on the other hand, doesn't talk, looks like a hairy yak, and manages to be more useful than most of the human characters. |
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Best Worst Soundtrack I honestly can't decide if the Scryed soundtrack is good or not. It's a bizarre mix of blues, big band, weird chanting, classical, sound effects and horrible J-pop. Some of the music is awful, some is fine, and it's often placed inappropriately. A few times weird musical exclamations had the whole room laughing. Plus, the theme song sounds like it was recorded by a Japanese Ricky Martin. |
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Worst Fighting Odds John, Island Island is a Korean manga about shamans and priests fighting nasty supernatural things. One of the good guys is a Christian shaman named John, who's basically a normal teenager except that when he yells Bible verses the things in them actually happen--and he gets stuck fighting some of the toughest, scariest things around. For example: Round 1: John vs. A Horrible Spectre of Death. Round 2: John vs. The Ocean. Round 3: John vs. Crazy Guy with Gun and Handcuffs. |
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Most Delicious Dog Menchi, Excel Saga Who could resist such a succulent ... I mean adorable little dog? I know I can't. |
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Most Painful Example of Dramatic Irony Shuri x Sarasa, Basara He's a heartless dictator with an iron grip on the population. She's the leader of the rebel uprising fighting to get him off the throne. They've both spent extraordinary amounts of time, money and manpower attempting to kill the other. But whoops--that's only when they're in costume! While in street clothes they began a secret romantic relationship without revealing their true identities to each other...and they always come this close to figuring things out without actually doing so. Stupid shoujo. |
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Most Heart-Wrenching Shortcut To Happiness Every goddamn peasant, Last Exile Clean water! Please! Yes, that's actually water in that beer stein. |
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Most Pronunciations of A Single Name in a Single Dub Haruhiko, Please Save My Earth This is an old series, but the dub can still be found on the DVD release. It's not that the acting was bad, or the scripting was terrible (save for a few plot changes that might have been out of line), but no two actors can pronounce "Haruhiko" the same. "Harrruhiko." "HaRUhiko." "Hal!" (I don't even get that last one.) Don't they have meetings about this kind of thing? |
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NEW Worst Person to Exist, Ever Ryoki, Hot Gimmick Although we wrote a very serious article about this, it's still pretty funny. He's physically, sexually and verbally abusive, he's self-centered, selfish and completely unaware of common human decency, and he probably hates kitties. Doesn't that sound sexy? Apparently to Hatsumi, because he's the main love interest to her shoujo heroine. |
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Most Comfortable Gay Community in an All-Boys School About half the cast, Hana-Kimi We're not saying there aren't all-boys schools out there who are perfectly respectful to their gay students. Of course not! But when half the student body either has a crush on an upperclassman, gushes about their adorable buddy, or feels comfortable gazing penetratingly into the eyes of their roommate, one starts to realize there's no way in hell this manga could've been written by anyone who'd ever had contact with a real man. |
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Best Pun Fuka, Kodocha I don't remember the exact line, or the episode, but it was something along the lines of "I'm deliberating, I'm deliberating, I'm an octopus fisherman." It had a costume and everything. |
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Most Satisfying Fulfillment of the Karmic Cycle Shigeta, Happy Mania Every once in a while some anime or manga character will do something terrible...but never pay for it (or even suffer from realistic consequences). Imagine our delight, then, when in Volume 1 of Happy Mania Shigeta acts like a bitch, sleeps with her coworker's boyfriend, and then promptly gets hit by a bus. |
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Best Incidence of Drag Sarasa, Basara Sarasa dressed up like her brother, the Boy Of Destiny, and led a peasant uprising in order to save her family, friends, country and benevolent humanitarianism. |
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Worst Incidence of Drag Gene Starwind, Outlaw Star Gene put on a dress to join a women-only wrestling match. Although only a few of the onlookers actually died, most of us wished for death. |
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Worst Voice Sora, X TV The Kansai dialect is not inherently annoying, but when you tack it on a guy who has a high, nasally voice, an interest in hamming up his accent to a ridiculous degree, and a complete lack of the concept that there are times on this Earth when a human has to shut up, everyone suffers. Highlight for spoiler: I figured that after he died he'd have to shut up, but I think he talked more in other characters' angsty flashbacks than he even did while alive. |
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Most Cynically Realistic Portrayal of a Stealth Cloak on a Giant Robot The invisible giant robot, Full Metal Panic When the writer wants to add a cool magical or technological ability to his or her giant robot, invisibility is one of the old standards. Any robot that can turn itself invisible will have a major advantage when fighting ordinary, visible robots or sneaking over the enemy border undetected. However, few series make clear the less-romanticized aspects of having an invisible robot--like how perching birds can blow your cover, or just how important it is to be careful where you park. |
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Funniest, Shortest Scene Kung-fu seals, Once Piece The kung-fu seals are these small, green sea creatures who look a bit like small manatees. They jumped out of the water to display their kung-fu prowess, kicked the butt of a prideful Usopp, got their collective butt kicked by Luffy, took him on as their new kung fu master, begged for him not to leave when he said he had to, accepted his gifts of food as a compromise to his leaving, and waved, cried and played a sad drum as he finally left them behind. This whole montage also happened in about 45 seconds of screen time. |
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Best Magical Screw-Up Reiichi and Mister, Duck Prince One was a bishounen whose body shrunk into a short, fat midget's. The other was a gross talking dog who grew a freakish pair of long legs. Together they put on a suit and walked around. It was the best moment in time ever. |
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Most Interesting Combination of the Law of Conservation of Mass and Black Magic Ed and Al, Full Metal Alchemist "Matter cannot be creating or destroyed." "Allow me to fix your radio with this pentagram!" |
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